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  • Writer's pictureRebecca

10 Practical Life Skills to help Improve Low Self Esteem.

Updated: Mar 2

Here’s a quick list of nothing more than a few small ‘brain hacks’, that you can use each and every day. These won’t cure all your woes and some may even sound silly/obvious, but put together, making small changes can begin to make a big difference. NLP is partially routed in re-wiring our thinking and it takes 21 days to form a habit, so keep practising!

If you think you are in need of one on one help, then please view my Why NLP? or Free Consultation pages to see if I can help.

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So, think specifically about your mornings and also your general behaviour towards yourself throughout the day. Do you find it hard to get up, to get motivated or are your mornings chaotic? Whatever your morning looks like try making some small changes and then think more deeply about how you treat yourself each day.


1.      When you wake

When you wake at the right time (perhaps after a sneaky snooze), keep your eyes closed and then force your feet (and perhaps a bit of leg with them) and put them flat onto the floor. Focus on this movement and really feel the floor or carpet against your feet. Try not to open your eyes until you think to yourself “I love the sensations my body can give me”. If you are disabled or use a wheelchair then you can adapt this to suit your needs. This is your first daily step towards improving your self-esteem.


2.     Music as therapy

Put on some music, or a song that makes you feel strong/empowered. When listening, focus on how it makes you feel – smile! NLP online therapy can help with this too!


3.      Make a splash

Splash your face with cold water. Make sure it’s as cold as it can be and notice the sensation a it hits your face. As you do this, imagine that this sensation is as if you're giving yourself a splash of love and awakening your inner spirit.


4.      Mirror mirror on the wall...

Look in the mirror (perhaps at the same time as getting ready) and repeat just one affirmation five times whilst holding your gaze. Use something simple that relates to you, something such as “I’m great at my job”, “I look fantastic today”, “I am incredible”, “I am kind” or “I am strong”.


5.      Get catching

At any point in your day, try to catch yourself internalising an “I can’t”. The more you notice/catch yourself saying this, the better you’ll become at it, so don’t give up. And when you do, just turn that “I can’t” into an “I can” or an “I can do this!”. It doesn’t matter if you believe it, just roll with it and keep repeating it in your mind or out loud – this will begin to re-program your thinking. What’s that? Could it be some positive self-esteem coming through?


6.      Be square - breathe

As an quickfire alternative to more in-depth NLP therapy, if you find yourself struggling in any sense at all during the day then just STOP. Stop everything you're doing, right there and then. Close your eyes (if it is safe) and take a deep breath in through your nose and out again through your mouth. If you can, try to breathe in for the same amount of time you breathe out (this is called ‘square breathing’), but the important thing is whilst doing so, to think or tell yourself “I love myself, I just need to reset” – repeat this several times until you feel ready enough to get back to what you were doing.


7.      Life's a treat

Treat yourself every now and then. Why? Because you deserve it! This doesn’t have to be a big thing, perhaps a bite of chocolate or even pick a leaf/flower and simply keep it with you for the day.


8.      Hygiene

At some point (but not too late), get washed and clean, even if you don’t plan on going anywhere. I know this can be a challenge for some, particularly if you’re depressed or have fibromyalgia etc. But forcing yourself to ‘re-train’ towards some modicum of a routine can be vastly beneficial as the benefits or even sensations from personal grooming far out-weigh the short term ‘savings’ from not doing it all. Shave, cut your nails, brush your teeth and then maybe eat something partially healthy!


9.      Reward

Reward/celebrate yourself, always. It doesn’t matter how it may seem to others, what’s important is YOU. So if before you’ve struggled to get up, but you do get up, then well done!! You went outside? Well done! You made a choice? Well done! Keep consciously celebrating each ‘micro achievement’ you do and over time, the previously ‘difficult’ will hopefully become more ‘second nature’ and then it’s onto the next. Remember… it’s a “well done”  for doing YOU, each and every time.


10.   Protect against negativity

Negativity – another slightly more tricky one, but try again to catch yourself if you get lost in negativity or ‘negative thoughts’. First, celebrate! Well done for noticing! Then, just place it to one side or bat it away and smile! Biologically, we are wired to put more emphasis on the ‘negative’/perceived mistakes (caveman survival reasons), but by batting it away and instead smiling to yourself, you are protecting yourself, you are loving yourself.



Of course, these 10 tips can help as a beginning to re-awaken your own self-esteem and self-worth, but they act more as a plaster for your wound. It’s also important to look deeper into issues, explore them and find a way to re-work them so they instead can have a positive effect in your life. Feel free to explore the rest of my site to see if one-on-one NLP therapy sessions could be a good fit for you.


Rebecca x

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