We all have one.
Here's my mental health story.
Tell me yours sometime?
Everyone has a story, you, me, the people next door, it’s true, it’s endless, but they are not often talked about. I want you to know that whatever your perceived ‘problems’ or ‘issues’ may be, that these are just a part of your story, nothing more. They aren’t bad, or good, they just ‘are’.
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The best thing is that by working together, we could begin to write a newer, fresher and more fulfilling life story for you, but in case you have any doubts, here is my own story with mental health (and other things besides).
Whilst every story is unique, as yours is to you, you are not alone...
My journey
If you've been on my NLP Practitioner homepage then you'll know I currently live with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), I'm also many years sober from alcohol addiction and have an intermittent history of both an eating disorder and body dysmorphia. The ‘lateness’ in diagnosis, especially for BPD has made life tough and on many, many occasions, seemingly insurmountable.
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This caused me numerous ‘problems’ growing up and into adulthood; dysfunctional relationships, suicide attempts, low self-esteem, anxiety, insomnia, endless feelings of dread and individual acts so removed from the norm they're difficult to describe here.
I’ve had, experienced and lived almost every ‘therapy type’ out there, so do trust me when I say that I understand how difficult initially asking for help and reaching out can be.
I've tried an array of counselling services, sex therapies, CBT, DBT, emotional coping skills, hypnosis and EMDR, to name but a few, but not NLP therapy, until now. Crucially I have observed two major hurdles when finding a therapist who actually understands or can help me;
Empathy - they have not experienced what I have experienced, and whilst each person’s experiences are unique, empathy is universal.
Transparency – there always seemed to be a ‘wall’ between us.
It's all in the application, I took the bits that worked for me and forgot those that didn't, you can do the same...
Ever get that sinking feeling? Struggle to keep your head above water? Constantly trying to navigate those stormy waters? I know how you feel…
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BPD serves to magnify these feelings, along with many more, and often, to the extreme. BPD can be; rage, anger, emptiness, loneliness, erraticism, intense love, perpetual unfulfillment, hate, single-mindedness and harmful behaviours - all wrapped up in one little bubble, ready to pop, uncontrollably, at any moment.
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Ultimately, it was taking little ‘snippets’ from all of the therapies I have undertaken that led me to develop a new way of thinking, of approaching my disorder and to mitigate the less helpful aspects of it.
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Since then, I’ve finally achieved what I've dreamt about for years. To qualify as an NLP Practitioner and be able to help others, to help you. I can break that invisible wall and let you into my world a little to create what I hope to be a feeling of being properly heard and understood.
Empathy is at the core of everything I do and is the starting point for what I offer.
Often with mental health, it's never just 'one thing'...
And that is categorically, 100%, completely normal. You’ve heard parts of my own, complicated journey with mental health and I’ve no doubt that yours will be equally as intertwined from feeling, to thought, emotion and back again.
For me, alcohol – acceptable to society yet toxic to me, became a crutch for my other problems. Years ago it reached the point of alcohol or life, I chose the latter. An eating disorder though is a forever friend/comfort, yet it lives in the shadow of intermittent body dysmorphia which used to really get me down. The key to my success is to have reframed my thinking to the point where I can be in the control seat, yet still steer with vigilance, awareness and watchfulness.
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In a similar fashion, the help I can offer you is also not based on a single formula, or one approach. Neuro-linguistic Programming has opened my eyes to the fact that there is another kind of therapy – one more suited to those who think outside the box and a therapy that's individually tailoured.
Through options of; visualisations, action plans, goal setting, value assessing, habit changing etc., it’s a great approach to apply to people like myself, those with mental health conditions and even for someone feeling fairly stable but wanting more in life. Ergo, in need of a life coach. And potentially you...
Calmer waters ahead?
To see if I can help and perhaps enjoy a quick natter too, why not book in for a free 30 minute chat with me? I promise to be open, warm, welcoming and most importantly, to listen. There's no obligation, it's informal - and if you don't feel we're right for each other, there's no follow-up or hard sell. Everything is done using video call, but you can choose if you wish to show your face or not. You'll get an empathateic ear, some suggestions as to how NLP online therapy could work for you - and then you decide where to go from there. I'll bring the virtual biscuits.
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